Another breeding cycle of mediocrity comes to a close this weekend as the giant karaoke machine that is Australian Idol spits out another clone, along with the usual placenta and afterbirth of confetti, screaming fans and associated bullshit.
The usual phrases will be generated by the automatic media machines who parasitically feed on the behemoth, mindlessly repeating the mantra of “the winner’s journey” and how the finalists have “the world in front of them”, all the while completely disregarding the blatant lies they are espousing.
The truth is, the only winners of Australian Idol are Freemantle Media, Channel Ten, Legion Interactive, associated sponsors, and to a lesser degree the record companies.
In terms of financial gain, artists who are granted record deals as a result of participating on Australian Idol are about on par with the janitor’s salary at Sony BMG. That is, if there is any money left after the “recoupables” – studio time, session musician time and other promotional costs are taken into account.
And even then, after he had cleaned the toilets the janitor would be shouting the winner dinner.
Last years “winner”, Natalie Gauci, released an album imaginatively titled “The Winners Journey”, which, surprisingly, was the name of Damien Leith’s album the year before. So clearly the brains trust is not a well-oiled creative force at this end of the spectrum.
It was certified platinum – but done on the dodge. While 70,000 units were shipped, to guarantee the certification, only 11,489 were sold in the first week. Since then, it hasn’t been a road paved of gold for Gauci.
The reality is, apart from the relative successes of season one winner Guy Sebastian and finalist Shannon Noll, for Australian Idol finalists and winners, it’s a land of sketchy deals, shaky partnerships, embarrassing shopping centre performances and brick walls.
Sebastian has taken the tried and true route of Human Nature, and released soul classics for housewives, while Noll has a sharp resonance with the bogan market – but both of those guys had an element of luck.
For the others – Gauci, Casey Donovan, Kate DeAraugo, Dean Geyer, Damien Leith and all the rest – they are stuck in a world where they are relentlessly trying to make music that nobody really wants.
Once the glow of the show is snuffed out, usually one or two days after the finale, an Idol finalist or winner is a hot potato – no-one wants to touch them, the record companies as well as the audience.
In the context of the program, with the luxury of image, promotion and competition, it’s exciting and dazzling.
Outside the studio, it’s cold and embarrassing.
For this year’s finale, there will be no red carpet. Freemantle Media told me that this was due to a “change of format” for a normally star-studded event – but something else tells me that this is a load of bollocks.
Let’s face it, the show has been going on for five years now – it’s hardly going to pull anyone but former Idol contestants and camera monkeys who are desperate for any kind of attention, so it’s probably best to just leave it out altogether. It does suggest where the show is headed, however.
The ugly truth for record companies is that their insistence on pre-fabricating every artist, image and note is going the way of the dinosaur. Artists are becoming more DIY than ever, and the astonishing plethora of releases – most produced independently and then promoted online – is killing the standard that old-media is clutching on to with the tips of their nails.
Australian Idol has never been taken seriously – but now the life cycle is feeding on itself, and its offspring are genetically mutated and destined for death, it has now become a laughing stock.
The question now is, will Channel Ten pull the plug on the life support machine like it did with its sister show Big Brother this year? Or will it do the cruel thing, and keep the beast alive for one more round of breeding?
Follow-up:
After posting this opinion article, LIVENEWS.com.au was contacted by Brooke Burns , a representative for Australian Idol, to let us know that our interview privileges with the finalists and winner were to be subsequently voided.
Throughout the season of Idol, we have featured interviews and articles with the ejected hopefuls.
While my personal views do not fit in sync with the culture and presentation of Australian Idol, we do feature a large amount of articles on the subject, as there is a large amount of public interest in the show. Mrs. Burns, and the show, has benefited from this exposure.
The opinions I have expressed are exactly that - opinions. If Mrs. Burns has taken offence at my comments, which are presented as editorial, then that is entirely up to her.
Her choice to void our interview opportunities, I feel, is a knee jerk reaction to my comments, which clearly cut close to the bone.
Editorial sometimes can be caustic, as my piece was. But that is the very nature of editorial, it is a personal viewpoint.
We are still happy to interview Australian Idol contestants for LIVENEWS - there is still public interest in the show, and I am able to put aside my personal perspective as an editor to run these stories.
I leave it to you, Mrs. Burns.